I have to tell you what my girls said last night. Mariah seen me reading my new meditation book. and was like wow mom does that mean your going to sit with your legs crossed and say olmmmm with your eeys closed, when I left I guess that Hannah thought it was wrong because she matter of factly said no Mariah silly, meditation is where your float up in the air. I think I about died laughing so hard, they both just stared blankly!
Wow talk about a great cheer up last night! Man I love my babies. Ball games tonight with Hannah. Yea! That is about all I have to do today, ugh that means my day is going to creep by, espically with me thinking about Jordans procedure tomorrow, which is full blown surgery in my opinion. After all he will be put to sleep and they will be doing an invasive procedure, how much more surgery like can you get. HELLO?? When I think about this I get sick, ugh I can imagine how hes feeling.
My new life motto wont seem to let me dwell on this very long. Fake it till ya make it right? Therefor I sing loudly.... "Sunny Days, chasing the clouds away, can you tell me how to get, how to get to sesame street" hee hee! One day at a time!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Changing Plans
So today was a big day, Fer was released form detox. The plan was to take him straight from the place in Knoxville down to Nashville where he would enter his rehab program. Things never seem to work out the way I plan for them to, That's part of this wonderful luck that I seem to have lol.
So they cant see him without him first getting in to rehab to see his regular psych doctor I guess is what there saying which is absolutely frustrating! He called his case work whom he seems to be infatuated with, Lisa. She is having to be at the hospital with her mom tomorrow because she is having knee surgery ( this plays into some more luck of mine). So the soonest she will be able to see him is on Thursday!
Trying to decide where he could stay until the mean time is going to be hard because I don't want him to fall back into the same patterns he has been in before he went to detox, because well, all this would have been for nothing.
On a lighter note he seems to be happy... I mean he still is very depressed but he seems to be excited on his new venture in life. I guess we will see how long that lasts ;)
Mom handled things better than I thought she would. Yea sure, she asked over and over again, I thought he was going to rehab and I told her the same things I was told by him as I heard them. She like me just inst understanding. I guess from our point of you we want to scream " their finally saying they need help, HELP THEM".
Our screams however dont seem to be loud enough for anyone to hear though.
And on a lighter note I still ha vent got to see the finale of lost!!! It kept freezing up on the computer that night and as soon as I got in the car they were talking about purgatory, which I turned because on of my theories involved purgatory so omg if that's how lost ends I'm going to be so mad that I heard about it before hand!! I don't think I will even have time to watch it before I go back into work. I will say however that OI am hearing mixxed feelings about it, some loved it some hated it. I just hope its not another Prison Break ending where you hope so bad for them to finally be able to lie happily ever after and then He dies, WTH ( what the heck ;) ).
Oh well live learn and then get luvs, right?
So they cant see him without him first getting in to rehab to see his regular psych doctor I guess is what there saying which is absolutely frustrating! He called his case work whom he seems to be infatuated with, Lisa. She is having to be at the hospital with her mom tomorrow because she is having knee surgery ( this plays into some more luck of mine). So the soonest she will be able to see him is on Thursday!
Trying to decide where he could stay until the mean time is going to be hard because I don't want him to fall back into the same patterns he has been in before he went to detox, because well, all this would have been for nothing.
On a lighter note he seems to be happy... I mean he still is very depressed but he seems to be excited on his new venture in life. I guess we will see how long that lasts ;)
Mom handled things better than I thought she would. Yea sure, she asked over and over again, I thought he was going to rehab and I told her the same things I was told by him as I heard them. She like me just inst understanding. I guess from our point of you we want to scream " their finally saying they need help, HELP THEM".
Our screams however dont seem to be loud enough for anyone to hear though.
And on a lighter note I still ha vent got to see the finale of lost!!! It kept freezing up on the computer that night and as soon as I got in the car they were talking about purgatory, which I turned because on of my theories involved purgatory so omg if that's how lost ends I'm going to be so mad that I heard about it before hand!! I don't think I will even have time to watch it before I go back into work. I will say however that OI am hearing mixxed feelings about it, some loved it some hated it. I just hope its not another Prison Break ending where you hope so bad for them to finally be able to lie happily ever after and then He dies, WTH ( what the heck ;) ).
Oh well live learn and then get luvs, right?
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Life after Lost
SO I sadly say, tonight is it..... Life without Lost! Can you even imagine? 6 years has gone bye, so many unanswered questions all summed up in the last 2 hours of unarguably the best hour on televisions! Bittersweet for sure. No more Sawyer nicknames, no more Hurley positive attitude, no more Locke like faith and no more litterly factual Jack. Yes friends, its okay to be sad and even tear up at the the thought of no more smoke monsters and pretty glowing lights. Its okay to sigh and the fact we no longer have to figure out what the whispering voices are saying.
We all knew it would eventually happen, but who knew the time would go by so quickly, pure entertainment I tell you!! For the past few years we have lived by the motto to live together or die alone, what will come of our Tuesday nights now.
I have read so many theory's on how this will end, and I don't have a clue how it will, all I know is I don't want this to be a dream, someone waking up from a coma, or Hurley and one of his "crazy" storys! One thing is for sure, this show like prison break will be deeply missed!!
We all knew it would eventually happen, but who knew the time would go by so quickly, pure entertainment I tell you!! For the past few years we have lived by the motto to live together or die alone, what will come of our Tuesday nights now.
I have read so many theory's on how this will end, and I don't have a clue how it will, all I know is I don't want this to be a dream, someone waking up from a coma, or Hurley and one of his "crazy" storys! One thing is for sure, this show like prison break will be deeply missed!!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Quite days
What a long night at work..... I hate nights like these. been talking on this step chat to some new friends I am making. I stopped by the book store on the way in and picked up some alanon books so that on my down moments here I will have something to do.
Ferlin was transfered to the other side today, the side where they can get him on the meds that he needs. He seems to really be doing okay. I mean he sounds week and tired, and is easily irritated, but for the most part he sounds good.
Jordan had a good day yesterday too. The girls did the softball thing. All in all it seemed to be a pretty quite day, and sometimes days like that its great!
Ferlin was transfered to the other side today, the side where they can get him on the meds that he needs. He seems to really be doing okay. I mean he sounds week and tired, and is easily irritated, but for the most part he sounds good.
Jordan had a good day yesterday too. The girls did the softball thing. All in all it seemed to be a pretty quite day, and sometimes days like that its great!
Ups and Downs of Life
Ups and Downs of Life
A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong.
School, family problems, severe health problems, etc..
Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her
grandson if he would like a snack, which of course he does.
"Here, have some cooking oil."
"Yuck" says the boy.
"How about a couple raw eggs? "
"Gross, Grandma!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
" Grandma, those are all yucky!"
To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by
themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a
wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way.
Many times we wonder why he would let us go through such bad and
difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these
things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him
and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!"
A little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going wrong.
School, family problems, severe health problems, etc..
Meanwhile, Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her
grandson if he would like a snack, which of course he does.
"Here, have some cooking oil."
"Yuck" says the boy.
"How about a couple raw eggs? "
"Gross, Grandma!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
" Grandma, those are all yucky!"
To which Grandma replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by
themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a
wonderfully delicious cake! God works the same way.
Many times we wonder why he would let us go through such bad and
difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these
things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him
and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!"
Broken Toys
Broken Toys
As children bring their broken toys,
With tears, for us to mend;
I brought my broken dreams to God
because he was my friend.
But then instead of leaving him in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go...."
As children bring their broken toys,
With tears, for us to mend;
I brought my broken dreams to God
because he was my friend.
But then instead of leaving him in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help with ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back and cried,
"How could you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go...."
Dear Friend
great find on an alanon site.
Dear Friend,
How are you? I just had to send a note to tell you how much I care about you. I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends. I waited all day hoping you would talk to me, too. I gave you a sunset to chase your day and a cool breeze to rest you-and I waited. You never came. It hurt me- but I still love you because I am your friend.
I saw you sleeping last night and longed to touch your brow so I spilled moonlight upon your face. Again I waited, waiting to rush down so we could talk.
I have so many gifts for you! I try to tell you in blue skies and in the quiet green grass. I whisper it in leaves on the trees and breathe it in colors of flowers, shout it to you in mountain streams, give the birds love songs to sing. I clothe you in warm sunshine and perfume the air with nature scents. My love for you
Is deeper then the ocean and bigger then the biggest need in your heart.
Ask me! Talk with me! Please don't forget me. I have so much to share with you
I have chosen you and I will wait for you.
Your friend,
I love you!
Jesus
Dear Friend,
How are you? I just had to send a note to tell you how much I care about you. I saw you yesterday as you were talking with your friends. I waited all day hoping you would talk to me, too. I gave you a sunset to chase your day and a cool breeze to rest you-and I waited. You never came. It hurt me- but I still love you because I am your friend.
I saw you sleeping last night and longed to touch your brow so I spilled moonlight upon your face. Again I waited, waiting to rush down so we could talk.
I have so many gifts for you! I try to tell you in blue skies and in the quiet green grass. I whisper it in leaves on the trees and breathe it in colors of flowers, shout it to you in mountain streams, give the birds love songs to sing. I clothe you in warm sunshine and perfume the air with nature scents. My love for you
Is deeper then the ocean and bigger then the biggest need in your heart.
Ask me! Talk with me! Please don't forget me. I have so much to share with you
I have chosen you and I will wait for you.
Your friend,
I love you!
Jesus
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