Off the Wagon

So I dont proclaim by any means to know the struggles and the obstcales that addicts face. I dont think I have ever in my life been addicted to anything. Well unless face book counts and I dont think there is a rehab for facebook addicts, if there was I would be first to say, "Hello, my name is Heather and facebook has taken over my life". However as much as I am on there I am still able to maintain and hold down a job, homeschool the kids and support my family. So I may just think I am addicted and not really be who knows!

Fer has struggled however and know what its like to be addicted to things. In Feb, 3 years ago he entered a program in Nashville called Pathfinders, what a wonderful place to give you wonderful tools that will allow you the ability to stand up to this "disease" and become a conquerer.

They had so much for him to do there and more importantly they had things for the family to do and participate in. They had family visits on Sunday and although I couldnt make them someone did, my mom, dad, and others went to visit him. They had a family weekend that I did get to attend and it lasted like 3 days. Wow I learned so much there, I was able to learn about what all he was going through and how he would struggle with this the rest of his life. It was so hard to hear, and I can imagine what he went through getting sober and clean and chooseing that life is so much more important.

I learned that it is something that you will have to work at for the rest of your life in order not to fall off the wagon (lose sobrity). I also learned that once you are given the tools to overcome this disorder, you know have a choice, once you step up and understand it everything becomes a choice. Do you choose to pick up that drink or drug or do you choose your life, your kids, your family, anything that is important to you.

Having to go through the things I am now, when someone falls off that wagon, is so hard. Espically when you relize you have been holding him up trying to carry them when they let go along time ago. You have so many questions, could I have done something different? why did you give up? Why was we not worth it? And all the answers are the same for us, It was THEIR choice. We feel helpless, and sad for them, but no matter what we have to relize that life dont stop when they fall. You still have to keep moving forward. Life Goes On, or so they say, even though whoever came up with that I hardley think they were family of an addict!

All I can do now is smile and be happy and not look back, all I can do is hope that when they figure out they fell they can pick theirself up and run like mad to catch back up, and if not.... "Life Goes On". right?