One more day to Vandi

So we have one more day till we head down to Vanderbilt. Still dont think Ferlin will be going with us, he hasnt called. With everything that Jordan is going through its just sad. We are hoping to leave out early at 5:30. Long drive down so going to go to bed early. thanks everyone in advance for the prayers.

The crossroads of life

I have had a really hard day today as you can tell from my previous post. Jordan has been doing okay this evening, hes still haveing bursts of nausea and some cramping. He has slept most of the day. I think I was really hard on myself earlier and if you dont know all the things in my life that i am having to deal with then I guess it doesnt make alot of since.

I have been at work all evening jordan is at home with mom and the girls. There all sound asleep and hopefully having sweet dreams. For the most part of the night I have been listening to music. Listening to some good christian music has always been able to pick me up.

I havve never really been at a crossroad in life where there are more than 2 decisions to make. i think i am so overwhelmed at the intensity the things in my life are coming at me. I dont even get one thing figured out before im making another. I talked to someone tonight who prayed with me and I was so thankful to have that person reach out and just ask me it I was okay. Of course hering the are you okay and then someone on the other end litterly down may have been a little scary! Either way I am greatful for my dear friend Carmen. I love ya girl!

Picking it back up :(

Well I laid it down and let go and let God for one whole day before I picked it right back up again! How frustrating is that. This morning Jordans Iv blew again. He cried, he did not want to be stuck again. Dr Kendall said we needed to restart it but Jordan did not want that. So he could either restart it or go home on half the medication and fight the nausea and the retching until they talked to Erlanger in the morning. Of course Jordan chose to go home, I mean how many kids do you know that would stick out there arm and say here you go give me an IV please.

Im the mom I knew in my heart that he should stay I knew in my gut he should stay, its the right thing for him right now, its where he should be, the doctors felt that way to. How can I make a wrong decision instead of doing what I know to be right. I know Jordan wants to be home, but Im supposed to be following where I feel the most peace at. And I let my mommy feelings get in the way. Now im sick, Im nausous, and I knwo I have made a wrong decision. All I can do is pray for forgiveness, hope this doctor gets him in tomorrow and hope Jordans night is as good as he hopes it will be.

Trying to lay it down again :(

Laying it down!

So Jordan had a rough morning but by night he seemed to be doing a little was better. It was really good to be able to see him eating and playing uno. Wow we had alot of visitors come up day, Jordan was really glad about that. His sisters was here! His cousin Brandon came up and they had a good time.

Dr Kendall was planning on discharging Jordan tomorrow morning. The home health company dont want him to come home with a regular iv and Dr Kendall doesnt want to put a central line in because he dont feel its nessecary. So he will be here till Monday.

Dr Carr is supposed to call him come Monday morning and hopefully we will be on our way down, there has been so many people say that today we will be discharged that we are not going to get our hopes up but still think positive!

Ferlin isnt up here like he was with Jordan the way he was last time he was in here, last time fer stayed everynight with him. Watching Jordan cry for him is really starting to get to me. Its really hard to watch Fer go through whatever he is going through when I feel like he should be here and not worry about anything else until all this with jordan is over. I think I have very strongly in not so good ways all the time told him how I feel.

I talked to someone today and he said God had given him a vision on things that were going on in my life. I have had that on my mind all day and I just feel like God is working with our family right now on many levels and if the end outcome isnt what I thought it would be, it is what God knows it will be.

Im laying here now looking at him and I feel so awful that everyone isnt focus mainly on him. I hate that I just dont understand, and their isnt anything I can do to fix it. After yesterday and the miracle with the IV Im trying do my part by praying and laying it down. Never knew giving up things could e harder on a person!

Choices!!

Dr Kendall just left, I guess I'm a lil let down things are not happening quicker, but I'm trusting in God things are happening at the speed God intends for them to. Dr. Kendall was trying to get Jordan in at Vanderbilt or Erlanger. Our choice was Erlanger if possible its alot closer for me and my family to drive, but we would take first available.

He said he would like to get him transferred today but Vandi called him at 9 last night and said he soonest they can get him in is this coming Friday, no beds. We are still waiting on Erlanger to call but he wanted to go ahead and tell us our options. Which are:

1. We can stay here till next Friday and then transfer down there. ( Jordan said this is absolutely not an option hee hee )

2. We can try to get ahold Of Dr carr and see if they can speed things up at Erlanger so that he can go today or tomorrow.

3. He can go home with home health, I will be able to continue the iv medications that he is on myself until Friday when he goes to see Dr on Friday in Nashville.

4. We can stay here and let the surgeons here do it. ( yep, they are saying now they see the flap that needs redone and would be willing to do the surgery ). This was an option until I told him it wasn't! These surgeons have treated my family like crap! I don't trust them and I have reported them for there actions toward us. Now way are they going to do anything on Jordan!!

So this is our option as of now. Our plan is to get ahold of Carr. If we can get Jordan seen down there then I think that would be the best and if we cant we wanna take him home and do it all at home until Friday. Please keep praying that the ball keeps rolling, I think I feel most eager and nervous when the ball just stops!

Lean on ME

I am fixing to head to bed, but wanted you to know that2 hours after I heard about the prayer group for Jordan, the surgeons that we had such a hard time with came in to "apologize" and give me options and opinions, and within 30 minutes after that Dr Kendall came in to say the transfer for tomorrow would be a go as soon as he spoke with the DR down there he seen it happening within 48 hours. Lastly, I had put out a comment on facebook the IV had blown, when they replaced it, just a few minutes later it blew again! Jordan was so devastated getting stuck 3 times in one day was way to much for him to take, So they stopped the Iv and went to get another to restart and while they were gone I prayed over his hand, I prayed out loud and with demand and told Satan to get away from my son, that God already had claimed him and all this evil will stop RIGHT NOW!!! Jordan kinda giggled he dont here me pray like that often. I told Jordan to stop crying and God said we just need to ask but we have to be willing to lay it down and let God handle it... Within 20 minutes, she returned and I asked her to just try the old IV one more time, and Praise God to all of our surprise it worked!!! not only did it work but the tiny vein that she had it in had a blood return like it was inserted into one of his main veins!!

Im telling you I feel a miracles coming, I feel like this huge weight has been lifted and for the first time since all this started I could litterly feel God arms around me as if to say Im here, lean on me!

Feeling the Stress

So this morning Dr Kendall came in. He had heard about all the stuff that went on and could not be any more apologetic. He feels like his hands are tied, he has to work with these surgeons and has to somehow stay on their good side, but he 100% feels like its the fundo. The surgeon says its 100% not, I mean come on are we not looking at the same pictures.

Marilynn called her brother in Chattanooga and he suggest we have Jordan transfered to Erlanger immediately! He is some kinda big shot doctor down there and told us who to ask for and to even let him know that he was sent by him.

When we talked to Dr Kendall about it he said he feels like, hes not well enough to go home but hes not sick enough to do and emergency surgery, and that he thinks that we need to do the feeding tubes and make an appointment to get him seen. Well after last night getting him away from these surgeons is on top of my agenda! So now we wait and see what Kendall can get done..... i hate these waiting games.

SOOO STRESSED!